Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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