break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
