so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
