dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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