Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
