yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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