at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
