I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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