Swine flu. Run for my life!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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