i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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