toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
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THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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