Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
