I'm going to rape someone's good day.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize