i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
