If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How does it feel to date your dad?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
