DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
