the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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