After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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