the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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