I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize