...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
