I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
