Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My penis needs a shock collar
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
