Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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