After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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