Well apparently he's into motor boating.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
