Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
