Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
