my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
