Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
