New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize