Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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