New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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