There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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