me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dear god my vagina.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
