Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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