What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I smell stomach acid.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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