I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
