didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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