I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
