I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize