god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
