im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
