apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
