i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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