Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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