those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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