just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
