you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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