hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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