i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
