i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize